When Things Fall Apart

Things fall apart. No matter how hard we try, not everything goes the way we hoped and planned. Even when we know that disaster is looming, we cannot always prevent it. People disappoint us and do things that we do not like. We may be comfortable, feel safe and secure in the day to day ups and downs that come our way and still a surprising and unexpected event can occur and turn everything upside down. Sometimes it is not a personal problem or issue of our own that causes us distress. A friend, partner, family member, co-worker, neighbor or your community or nation, confronts a misfortunate or challenge. Yet, we find ourselves as stressed and worried as if this problem was our own. Not being able to control or effectively change a situation for another can generate feelings of powerless.

Try not to blame yourself or others or become bitter when things fall apart. This is a part of life that we will never escape. No matter what you do, how safe you play it and how intelligent and competent you are, you will at one time or another experience unexpected change. Problems get solved, but only temporarily. Other or similar ones will crop up.

When misfortune knocks on our door and rattles us to the core, there may be little left of the life that we have known. Loss of a job, a devastating health condition, divorce, financial bankruptcy or the death of a loved one, not only changes our circumstances, they can also change the way we perceive ourselves. If we recoil in fear, we feel defensive and at the mercy of a cruel fate. However, if we make space in our lives to accommodate the inevitable, we can gain a sense of mastery and strength from our challenges.

When change comes your way, you can close down in fear or you can feel the depths of your emotions and allow them to soften you. Your safety and serenity does not come about by avoiding and controlling the flow of life. Instead, you can discover calmness in the midst of the storm by accepting what is happening and embracing your feelings.

Be in present time. When you find yourself, stressing and troubled by problems and challenges, breathe and acknowledge the good that is present and be open to perceiving what is happening with a new awareness and perspective. Don’t let your concerns for the future and pain from the past, cause you to imagine the worst. Take it one step at a time, being ever mindful that challenges call forward hidden, but potent aspects of your authentic self. Even though problems may initially seem overwhelming, you can discover a strength and compassion that you did not know you had. Distressing turn of events are often a calling card from your authentic self letting you know that you are capable of so much more than you may think.

From the Book Discover Your Authentic Self